Series: The Death of Morality--Gentlewoman

Ever wonder why the word “Gentlewoman” never truly caught on? It is because the word “woman” itself implied gentlewomanly manners (unless otherwise stated), thus making the actual “Gentlewoman” superfluous. And, yet with the birth of 20th century, it became imperative to create newer labels for the rapidly changing notion of what it was to be a woman. Thus words along the lines of “slut, whore, etc” became mainstream as looseness of behavior began skyrocketing the more women gained freedom of thought and expression.

So shouldn’t these past eras (WW1, WW2, the groovy 60s, etc) be labeled more as eras of Amorality? Not quite. Sure they set the trend for future behavior, but only in recent years have such negative labels actually been re-classified under “cool” category. Yes, girls don’t go boldly proclaiming, “I am a slut!” but their conduct all but accounts for their lack of vocal announcement. And everything in society is encouraging them to continue their behavior. Go to the “Juniors” section of a clothing store, and it is tough to find jeans that actually embrace one’s waist instead of slipping off of one’s hips; go to the magazine section of the local bookstore, and one sees cover pages worshipping teen role models who have just recently gotten pregnant or exposed themselves on the ubiquitous Internet. Furthermore, Daddy’s little girls who grow up in such a society only worsen when put against the pressures of adulthood.

With this in mind, I dive again into the crazy water-hole, now assessing this adult Woman of the 21st century and measuring just how far the apple has fallen from the tree of the “Gentlewoman” of yesteryear.

There are usually two types of women that one encounters at the water-hole: The Queens and The Greens. The former are women who realize their power with men and utilize it with relish while the latter are usually jealous (thus, green) of the former group and will do anything just to get male attention. Despite their physical and mental difference, both groups find agreement on one issue: They both dreadfully want men. Nothing wrong in that thought—women since the birth of time have wanted men and a good part of their actions have been driven by how much they can impress this strapping, strong counterpart. They just had an extra ingredient: Restraint.

Entering the water-hole on a normal night, the woman (be it a Queen or a Green) quickly scans the area, trying to gauge just how many eyes are on HER. She lives for the attention, devours it, and wishes to remember it come next morning so she can brag about it to her girlfriends. She knows she has spent hours in her bathroom getting ready and wishes that her perseverance doesn’t go unnoticed. Acting nonchalant (or trying to), she casually makes her way to the bar. But she doesn’t order—no not just yet. Now she finally looks around, first along the bar and then a bit beyond, trying to catch the eye of a stranger who is willing to spend good money to buy another stranger a drink. If she succeeds (branding her a Queen), she mentally adds the drink to her ongoing “drink tally” for the night; if she doesn’t (a Green) she’ll buy herself a little something and move on to the Dance Floor.

No Restraint. No Control. No Shame. That denotes the Dance Floor of the 21st century water-hole. Here, the Green, will gyrate to her maximum capability, pumping her chest out, twirling her ass, all for the sake of a stranger’s attention. The night ends triumphantly for she is finally asked her number by the guy she was grinding with. The irony of the whole situation comes out when during the day, she proclaims her disgust that women are looked on as purely sexual objects while here, night after night, she is desperately putting herself up for sale.

That women of this Era are liberated is true. But too much of ANYthing is harmful.

Personal Insight: What does the word “Gentlewoman” mean to me? Most people misinterpret this term as well its other synonyms (ladylike) as negative words. To them, these terms imply docile, submissive women that are imprisoned by society and men alike. I, being the child of the free era, take the term in a more positive light—to me it is the feminine counterpart of the male “Gentleman.” Now since it is proven that “men are from Mars, and women from Venus,” there will be stereotypical differences between the meanings. After all, women are not expected to hold the car door open so men can gracefully get inside. Accordingly, a Gentlewoman of the 21st century is one that is financially independent and mentally astute. She holds herself with dignity, displays modesty, lacks vulgarity, and above all, is fairly impervious to the alluring underbelly of society. That is not to say that she lives a sheltered, veiled life but rather a life where she upholds a laudable moral code. Note, sexual restraint, to me, does not determine if a woman is morally sound. In fact, it just tells me that a woman is Nun and thus chaste. Women still have the same animalistic desire, albeit, much toned down when compared to that of men. Sexual promiscuity, on the other hand, is what determines this distinction between a moral vs. and immoral woman.

Do I view myself as one of the last standing examples of this evasive “Gentlewoman”? Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. And trust me, there are a few others too :)

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