Series: The Death of Morality--Gentlewoman

Ever wonder why the word “Gentlewoman” never truly caught on? It is because the word “woman” itself implied gentlewomanly manners (unless otherwise stated), thus making the actual “Gentlewoman” superfluous. And, yet with the birth of 20th century, it became imperative to create newer labels for the rapidly changing notion of what it was to be a woman. Thus words along the lines of “slut, whore, etc” became mainstream as looseness of behavior began skyrocketing the more women gained freedom of thought and expression.

So shouldn’t these past eras (WW1, WW2, the groovy 60s, etc) be labeled more as eras of Amorality? Not quite. Sure they set the trend for future behavior, but only in recent years have such negative labels actually been re-classified under “cool” category. Yes, girls don’t go boldly proclaiming, “I am a slut!” but their conduct all but accounts for their lack of vocal announcement. And everything in society is encouraging them to continue their behavior. Go to the “Juniors” section of a clothing store, and it is tough to find jeans that actually embrace one’s waist instead of slipping off of one’s hips; go to the magazine section of the local bookstore, and one sees cover pages worshipping teen role models who have just recently gotten pregnant or exposed themselves on the ubiquitous Internet. Furthermore, Daddy’s little girls who grow up in such a society only worsen when put against the pressures of adulthood.

With this in mind, I dive again into the crazy water-hole, now assessing this adult Woman of the 21st century and measuring just how far the apple has fallen from the tree of the “Gentlewoman” of yesteryear.

There are usually two types of women that one encounters at the water-hole: The Queens and The Greens. The former are women who realize their power with men and utilize it with relish while the latter are usually jealous (thus, green) of the former group and will do anything just to get male attention. Despite their physical and mental difference, both groups find agreement on one issue: They both dreadfully want men. Nothing wrong in that thought—women since the birth of time have wanted men and a good part of their actions have been driven by how much they can impress this strapping, strong counterpart. They just had an extra ingredient: Restraint.

Entering the water-hole on a normal night, the woman (be it a Queen or a Green) quickly scans the area, trying to gauge just how many eyes are on HER. She lives for the attention, devours it, and wishes to remember it come next morning so she can brag about it to her girlfriends. She knows she has spent hours in her bathroom getting ready and wishes that her perseverance doesn’t go unnoticed. Acting nonchalant (or trying to), she casually makes her way to the bar. But she doesn’t order—no not just yet. Now she finally looks around, first along the bar and then a bit beyond, trying to catch the eye of a stranger who is willing to spend good money to buy another stranger a drink. If she succeeds (branding her a Queen), she mentally adds the drink to her ongoing “drink tally” for the night; if she doesn’t (a Green) she’ll buy herself a little something and move on to the Dance Floor.

No Restraint. No Control. No Shame. That denotes the Dance Floor of the 21st century water-hole. Here, the Green, will gyrate to her maximum capability, pumping her chest out, twirling her ass, all for the sake of a stranger’s attention. The night ends triumphantly for she is finally asked her number by the guy she was grinding with. The irony of the whole situation comes out when during the day, she proclaims her disgust that women are looked on as purely sexual objects while here, night after night, she is desperately putting herself up for sale.

That women of this Era are liberated is true. But too much of ANYthing is harmful.

Personal Insight: What does the word “Gentlewoman” mean to me? Most people misinterpret this term as well its other synonyms (ladylike) as negative words. To them, these terms imply docile, submissive women that are imprisoned by society and men alike. I, being the child of the free era, take the term in a more positive light—to me it is the feminine counterpart of the male “Gentleman.” Now since it is proven that “men are from Mars, and women from Venus,” there will be stereotypical differences between the meanings. After all, women are not expected to hold the car door open so men can gracefully get inside. Accordingly, a Gentlewoman of the 21st century is one that is financially independent and mentally astute. She holds herself with dignity, displays modesty, lacks vulgarity, and above all, is fairly impervious to the alluring underbelly of society. That is not to say that she lives a sheltered, veiled life but rather a life where she upholds a laudable moral code. Note, sexual restraint, to me, does not determine if a woman is morally sound. In fact, it just tells me that a woman is Nun and thus chaste. Women still have the same animalistic desire, albeit, much toned down when compared to that of men. Sexual promiscuity, on the other hand, is what determines this distinction between a moral vs. and immoral woman.

Do I view myself as one of the last standing examples of this evasive “Gentlewoman”? Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. And trust me, there are a few others too :)

Next topic: Love

Series: The Death of Morality--Gentleman

Going to a local water-hole in the heart of New York City, one finds an amalgam of people there with only one thing on their mind: Hook up. No matter how different their circumstances, societies, cultures, they all come to this open house leaving behind their restrictions, desiring only one core thing—to meet someone new, a potential, and then hook up. Although, not everyone goes home with a conquest, when the night starts out, the smell of possibility strongly lingers. As the night progresses, depending on one’s success, either one finds the delectable food that tingled their olfaction or one goes home hungry, dejected.

In the heart of this water-hole are two key players: the Man and the Woman. This post will be about the Man.

Men, throughout history, have always had one thing constant on their minds: Sex. Ranging from ladies-man, Casanova, to lady-killer, Henry VIII, to multiple-ladies, Osama Bin Laden, they all show their embarrassing yet true constant thought. The fact that this notion has been proved by Science does not aid the situation any further as it just makes men more potent and freer in their pursuit as they now safely have the excuse “blame our hormones not us” as back-up if they ever needed it.

However, the men of this era are somewhat different, somewhat more dangerous and a lot more disappointing. Their thought, as proved by Science, still revolves around the same thing but now it has more power for they are no longer ashamed in displaying it, no longer mindful of the fact that it might be “too robust for delicate feminine thought.” And at such common hang outs like the water-hole, this thought becomes even more pronounced, with the beast eyeing its prey and waiting for the perfect moment to pounce on it after baiting it with the lure of a refreshing drink.

The Gentleman has finally met his death in this era of Amorality. The tradition of chivalry and respect for the opposite sex that had continued for the last two thousand years has come to an unfortunate end as men become increasingly careless, wayward, and selfish. Instead of protecting and shielding women from their beastly counterparts, they themselves have morphed into the beasts, wanting nothing but “a nice piece of ass.” There is no longer a clear cut distinction between the Wickham and the Darcy, the evil guy and the good guy.

And, what’s more—these modern men are clever. They take pleasure in creating a smoke screen of appearing as Mr.Darcys in their normal day-to-day life. It is only under the cover of alcohol, heat, dancing, and the omnipresent Night that their true selves are revealed. Thus, a trip to the water-hole, in the wee hours of the night is a must for dreamers like me to finally “wake up and smell the coffee.”

Personal insight: Discovering this truth has led me to terminate my search for my perfect counterpart. Like any other girl, I too have a desire to get married, but unlike most, I feel that the desire will remain just that. I am cynical and every man I meet has distinct qualities of the Modern Man, and thus I am repulsed by him. Only a few times, I think I am lucky enough to meet some exceptions, but in this age of momentary meetings, they fade into the many faces that I have crossed brief but meaningful paths with. And there you have it: a perfect craving of marriage, just lacking a groom or even a possibility of him.

Series: The Death of Morality--Prologue

A better part of my life has been spent hooded under the shroud of fantasy. It began with the reading of Pride and Prejudice when I was 12 years old and completely impressionable. It continued with the viewing of an adaption of the same book and with the reading of yet another Austen classic, Northanger Abbey, and all of a sudden, I found myself becoming a “Regency” junkie. I would buy, read, watch anything that was related to the Regency period and when I began running out of that material, I broadened my thirst for history by indulging in eras ranging from the Medieval all the way to the Victorian. Soon my obsession amounted to dangerous heights as I began viewing everything from that angle, refusing to face the 21st century head-on and instead adorning it in the fineries from one of these finer periods. Sweet Sixteens in my mind morphed into “Coming out balls” where everyone wore their best dresses and celebrated with their ton; modern “guys” changed into Mr.Darcys and Mr.Tilneys, charming, chivalrous, and respectful; modern “gals” (including, I) became the prototypes of heroines like Lizzy Bennet. And all this came with one core center: Innocence.

As I aged, my eyes soon started adjusting to the harsh realities of the actual modern age, where, at every step, I found myself rudely awakened from the norms of old and shoved into the beliefs of the new. And, just like the eras of past were labeled “Regency,” “Gothic,” “Victorian,” etc, this era is personally labeled by me as “Amoral.”
And so begins my journey to define this age that embraces the death of morality…